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How to deal with anger over DF

Refriz

Administrator. Web dev & events manager
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Aug 16, 2020
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175
Hey everyone! ❄

The reason I am actually making this therapeutic guide is because some of the highlights or sections have helped others in the past, elsewhere. This motivated me to keep doing them, and I figured DiamondFire would be a cool place to put this due to the cases I responded to as a Mod. Additionally, with being a Moderator, I acknowledged that a good majority of the community who have received infractions deal with anger.With no solid way to express anger, they exert it in the chat to feel better. A lot of the time, depending on the severity, they at some point get consequences.

They release it to feel better, but here comes the saying: What comes around, goes around. With loving and adoring psychology (I want to be a psychologist!) and going through about a year of therapy, I learnt and picked up an unbelievable amount of information and techniques that honestly helped me as a person. There are examples of my life in here to merely help with putting an idea out there of how it helped me, so it could potentially encourage you to try the techniques if you'd like. So, whether this relates to your anger in video games, or just anger in your overall life, I hope this helps you.

What makes people angry?
At least from my experience and knowledge, anger forms from not feeling connected to an opposing factor. When things aren't connected - they don't work; that is just my example of how I put it. When there isn't a connection per se, be it not having the same opinion as someone else, or not having a good foundation to allow criticism from others, anger can surely rise to the top. Stress and the anxieties of your life can be turned into anger. Anything, really, can be turned into anger. A lot of my anger in life has dealt with people not understanding my mental illnesses, not being able to control it (that is where therapy came in), and trying my best to deal with criticism. So, not having a connection, not being happy, not being able to control things that control your life, being in an unhappy relationship or friendship, having immense stress and anxiety that isn't controlled or healthily exerted can turn into a bolstering sign of anger.

But, don't fret. Everyone can exert anger in a healthy way. If you are someone who thinks that you are too gone to control it, or someone who thinks they can't change - you can, with encouragement and practice.

Coping with anger

Breathing
As silly as this might sound, breathing is the key here. From anxiety disorders to anger, breathing is the key to slow down your mind and help uncloud your thoughts. When you are in a stressful situation, you can always breath. When you don't breath and you are angry, your thoughts will keep racing, upping the likelihood of doing something you will regret.

Deep and slow breaths will help you calm down. It will calm down your heart rate, it will calm down your thoughts, and you will be at ease provided you keep doing it and optionally combine other techniques. It takes practice. Back when I just started therapy after being diagnosed with social anxiety, I noticed that I was never really breathing in stressful situations. It caused my mind to overload and my thoughts kept racing and racing. But, after learning how to breath during stressful situations, it helped me to a very large extent. I was able to have more control over my thoughts and also, more namely - my actions. Sometimes you can't control your thoughts. They are thoughts at the end, but the thing you can control is your actions.

So, whenever you are feeling angry again over DiamondFire for example, just breath and you may laugh at how easy it is to calm yourself down. Sometimes, it might be more difficult if you are bottling things up or there's more factors at play. But there is no cost to practice.

Unbottling your thoughts
Back in 2019, I was at a tough place. I realized for over half my lifetime, I've been bottling things up that I never, ever wanted to put out there. Thus, I never talked to anyone about my problems, and that was the issue.

Talk to people you trust, whether that be a good friend you know online or in-real-life, or a family member. This will help unbottle all of your thoughts. Bottling up your thoughts and not healthily taking care of them can result in the last thing you want: potential mental breakdowns. It will make your life worse if you don't talk to people about your problems. In 2019, I was able to finally talk to someone about my problems on a Spring night, and it was through a mobile phone. I was hiding and locking my issues away that bothered me half my entire life. And when I opened up, it changed everything. It opened up new opportunities, and I finally relieved this stress that I kept somewhere throughout my life.

It might seem like a small thing, but it can have gigantic positive consequences. My issue was the idea of that I'd feel judged if I told anyone, but it was merely the opposite. Talk to people about your issues!

Music
Yup! Music can increase dopamine. It is the "feel good" hormone. Same thing goes with texting or you being on your phone: it increases dopamine. Besides dopamine increases, it can also calm you down.

If you are in a stressful situation, such as being angry, music can definitely help you calm down. Let your mind ease and listen to your favorite genre. If you are sad, however, don't listen to music that tend to make you sad! And better yet, focus on the lyrics if you want to go the extra step. Similar to coping with sleep issues, such as insomnia, focusing on something can most definitely help calm you down and set your mind to ease. Maybe I will make a sleeping guide soon in the future by the way, but I have to outsmart my insomnia first!

So, whenever you are angry, listen to some music and combine other techniques like breathing.

Distract yourself
As bad as it might sound, distracting yourself is a good idea, provided you can healthily address the problem. You need to consider if the reason you are angry can be forgotten, if it can be left alone a week later and not bother you, or if it's more of a long-term thing. Distractions can help you think clearer when you come back to coping with anger, but don't ever bury your anger! There are misconceptions that distractions are bad, but they can be quite beneficial as long as you are taking care of what you are angry about.

Play a game that you like, listen to music, find something to entertain yourself, or watch a movie or show!

Exercise
This plays a vital role!

Exercising can really, really help you express your anger more healthily. Whether that be going on a run, punching a punching bag if you have one, going to a gym (COVID might affect this), and doing general workouts like pushups. As small as it might sound, this can really change everything, especially if you combine every other technique listed. So, if you are feeling angry, try exercising to healthily exert your emotions. Better yet, exercise affects your dopamine (the feel good hormone) and serotonin.

Journaling
Similar to unbottling thoughts and talking to others, journaling down what you are thinking can help relieve yourself from the stresses of everyday life.

Letting your troublesome thoughts stay there is not the best idea, so filtering through your thoughts and trying to resolve them can be a great idea to help get your anger down. In an example for me, I write down all my anxious and angry thoughts, and physically writing them down resulted in a sigh of relief when I was done. So if you are angry, write them down instead of for example typing them in chat.

Find what you are truly angry about.
This is an important part. Why are you really angry? Think deeper. What is really bothering you?

Imagine that you are angry because you died in a plot over DiamondFire, but imagine the actual case being that you aren't responding to criticism very well, so you got into an argument as an example and when that something new happened, a player killing you, it sparked your anger more easily because you don't know how to cope with the first thing, you are having trouble doing it, or it's just taking time to cope.

Emotions can be complex. Find why you are really angry and talk about it. Never bury your anger inside (or bottling up your thoughts) - it will explode.

-----------------------------------

I hope this helped some people. If not, maybe you picked something up from the post. If you want me to do more guides like this, just let me know!
 
Last edited:

seksy

New member
Joined
Sep 6, 2020
Messages
7
REFRIZ THE GOAT BRO!!!! nah but fr i started doing these things near the start of quarantine. i thought to myself, "if i dont want everyday to feel the same, then i have to try something new every single day." i ended up adopting a ton of these practices like working out on a normal basis and controlling my breathing.

if there is something that i wanna get off my chest and i cant talk to anyone else, i just write it down. you just gotta write, write, and write, until you empty your mind. i usually do this right before i sleep so i don't wake up with any stress from the day before.


if you are planning to practice any of these things refriz talk about please start!!! remind yourself that you can start whenever and the day of the week does not matter. the most difficult part about this is taking that first step, everything becomes self-explanatory after that.
 

Refriz

Administrator. Web dev & events manager
Admin
Joined
Aug 16, 2020
Messages
175
if there is something that i wanna get off my chest and i cant talk to anyone else, i just write it down. you just gotta write, write, and write, until you empty your mind. i usually do this right before i sleep so i don't wake up with any stress from the day before.
Ohh! That's a great idea! I need to journal more. I often forget and don't realize how much it helps at the end. After each session of journaling, I just let out this awesome relief sigh, as if there's nothing on your shoulders anymore. :P
 

Wobber

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 6, 2020
Messages
723
Dude ngl I would kill for a forums category where people can just post these. I love em
 

Noah

Support
Helper
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Sep 7, 2020
Messages
167
Y'all getting angry while i just wanna grill
 
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